I looked at the stats page and see that I have had eight people looking at my site today, all probably interested either in what I did for New Years Eve, or what I thought of my drunken state.
Well, kids I was a star last night. I do believe that I was probably the drunkest person at Ducky’s, and if not that, then at least the most out of control. The night began innocently enough, or should I say the early afternoon… The Ship and Anchor Pub celebrates British New Years at five in the afternoon. I arrived at 3 and began drinking Newcastles, I am not sure how many. Things were pretty sedate, what with the night before having been a pretty big night out, but then the party favors came out. If you want a party to really kick ass then all you need are noisemakers, hats and streamers! We went off. I am not sure why we were so excited about the trinkits, but damnit if we weren’t the noisiest table in the place. But the time 5pm rolled around we were quite giddy. The party continued there up until 7, at which time I moved on to The Rose and Crown, where I was meeting more friends for a pre-Ducky’s drink.
When I got there it was a sad state of affairs. Everyone there was sobber. I came barraling in with a white plastic top-hat on, streamers hanging off me and two different types of noisemakers. Luckily for me everyone was willing to try to catch up. The round of Jägermeister I bought helped out. We hung out there long enough for one beer and headed off to the Duck. There I bought myself a jug of Ducky’s Lager (really Black Label at a cheaper price) and some cranberry juice. (the only way DL is drinkable is mixed with it) I totally ignored the glass given to me and began drinking out of the jug. You see, I didn’t want to have to keep track of two things. While playing GoldenTee with Mark, Bulah (the owner of Ducky’s) gets a glass and pours some beer into it for me. I thank her, drink the glass and then continue to drink out of the jug. I don’t think she appreciated that, but she didn’t say anything to me, mainly because I am usually on my best behavior. After this things get hazy, so I will continue in an non-liniar point form. Keep in mind that our table was the loudest in the bar once again, even though for the most part it was a totally different group of people. I am beginning to think there is a pattern forming here…
-I had one of those rattling noisemakers that you spin in the breast pocket of my shirt, so that it looked like a very large nipple. As I walked around the bar I would often brush it against total strangers (men and women) and ask them if they would like a crank. Most of the time the answer was “no”, but once I demonstrated to them that it made noise everyone took a crank.
-Shane sang “The Final Countdown” by Europe. I was so delighted at this that I went out to the dancefloor and rocked out. Alone. Raising my jug of beer high over my head, I sloshed a bit of beer down the front of my shirt, right on the protruding “nipple” I was asked if I was lactating.
-At one point I spilled some guy’s wine because I bumped his table while dancing. I didn’t feel myself bump into his table, but the evidence was there for all to see. He looked pretty pissed off, but I was a good combination of goofy and sorry, and I bought him a new glass of wine right away so then he was happy and his girlfriend thought I was “the best” for some reason.
-I sang two songs, I know the second one was “Love Shack”, a duet with my friend Sara, but the first song I sang is lost entirely.
-Also lost is the countdown. I don’t remember hearing it, but I do remember that I opened a bottle of Champagne.
-I bought a round of the most disgusting drink known to man, Turkey and Clam. That is, Wild Turkey Bourbon and Clamato. I call it Vomit.
-I did a Pearl Necklace, a drink invented by Shane. Everyone has had a Blowjob shot before, or at least seen someone drink it. It is the one where it is covered in whipped cream and you have to drink it without using your hands. Well, a Pearl Necklace is the same, only instead it is thrown at your face and you have to catch it in your mouth. Shane dropped off a towel at Ducky’s ahead of time to facilitate this. I actually did a great job of catching it, I think only Shane and Bill were the others brave enough to attempt this feat.
This New Years Eve has been one of the best on record. And, yes, I think it was worth the $140 I apparently spent on it. Some might question the high profile of alcohol in the night, but think, I didn’t puke or pass-out, nor did I get in any fights. Fun time had by all.
At the Ship (L to R): Greg, Me, Wenda, Avary, The HZA, Mr. Giggles, Will, Karen.
When our drinks don’t come quickly enough, we get surly.
Eric’s Whisky Sours. I took this one.
The moment at Ducky’s. (L-R) Ang’s arm, Carl “The Pipecleaner”, Alison, Shane “Suzie”, Sara, Mark.
There were lots of pictures of me, but all very unflattering as you can imagine.
You said.